


Put That Camcorder Away or So Help Me God

by phandomestic



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Zombie Apocalypse, Romantic Comedy, death (of the undead), ginger phil, it's both it's weird shh, the most important tag ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 13:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8626891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phandomestic/pseuds/phandomestic
Summary: What if Dan and Phil weren't able to meet in person because a zombie apocalypse broke out a week before? Flash forward seven years, Dan has gone rogue with some rough edges and is separated from his group when he comes across his once-senpai, now-facetious Phil Lester in the ruins of Manchester. As Dan soon finds, Phil, bless his heart, is not very attentive to the life-or-death situation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> At long last, this little silly idea I had in my head has come into fruition! To be honest, it came about with the idea of how Dan and Phil would fare in a zombie apocalypse (not well, I'd assume). But then, to make it sadder I thought wait: what if an outbreak occurred before the day of lord 2009 October 19 before they could meet in person? Yes. I finna do that. SO here's the result! A fic that doesn't take itself too seriously and what I've always referred to it as "Romcom Roadtrip WITH ZOMBIES". Thank you so much to my beta Sam (attractivephan) for being the ultimate frickin champ and bouncing ideas back with me. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!

If Dan hesitated every time he had to act quickly, he wouldn’t be alive right now. The sort of rash and impulsive thinking he’s developed over the years would’ve been shameful and embarrassing to him in a time seven years before. Perhaps. But in a game of survival, it would be foolish to rely on chance and luck. Dan was never brought into the world thinking it’s kill or be killed. Yet as _luck_ would have it, humans are easily adaptable in high stress situations. He just hopes the Dan seven years ago would understand.

His left hand raised the pistol, and he moved forward. He had to admit the hideout was impressive. If it weren’t for a single source of light he was able to discern on the 9th floor, he would’ve continued on in streets of rubble, inching closer to starvation with every step. The floorboards creaked under his feet as he crouched, his back to the wall. He breathed deeply and listened close.

The sound of footsteps and rustling was all he needed to note the obvious: someone is here. It was a combination of that infamous impulsiveness and the hollowness in the pit of his stomach that caused him to jump up, both hands to his pistol, ready to shoot at this _someone_ who has food and shelter and things he’s willing to bet won’t be sacrificed so easily.

And he was right in that respect; some pathetic excuse he’d conjured up and would reflect on as the largest miscalculation many years later. A man just a little shorter than him had his hunting rifle raised right back at him, and although Dan could tell he was trembling slightly, he stood his ground. They were both stood for a moment, guns pointed and eyeing each other, waiting for the next move. Wide blue eyes stared back at him and there’s an emotion in there that made him falter for just a second.

“I don’t want to start anything, alright?” The other man’s northern accent was stern. “Drop it.”

“You drop it.”

“I asked first.” Dan didn’t move a centimeter. The other man let out a sigh, light and unmistakable amusement evident in the slight upturn of his lips, and lowered his rifle. He let it stand upright on his side as he leaned against it. “ _Dan,_ stop being stubborn. I already said I don’t want to start anything.”

“How the _fuck_ do you know my name?” Dan hissed, gripping his pistol tighter. The man raised his hands in surrender for a moment and pressed his lips together. His blue eyes met the floor and Dan saw the corner of his mouth twist into a deeper smile. God, he wanted to shoot this guy, whoever he was. Who does he think he is?

“Now it’s gotten awkward.” He rubbed the back of his neck lamely. “Well, I apologise for assuming. It’s just that you look like someone I once knew and… by your reaction I’m guessing I was right. Hi, my name is Phil.”

 

**_Six and a half years ago, 2009_ **

“I can’t wait to see you in person,” Dan grinned widely at a pixelated Phil. “Two weeks.”

“Maybe then we can finally talk properly and not through this potato camera,” Phil grinned right back during another one of their Skype sessions. “I promise I look much better in real life.”

Dan’s mouth hung open and he let out a laugh. Phil raised an eyebrow in response, prying for an explanation. Dan only shook his head and shrugged.

“I was just thinking that...”

“That I would look better in real life? Aw Dan, I’m so flattered I’m blushing.”

“Shut up, you’re not blushing. I can see you right now.” Yet, as he said it he could see Phil’s face begin to redden. “Never mind. I’ve been proven wrong.” And now he was blushing, too.

“What?” Phil asked, noting how Dan was looking at him differently. Dan didn’t respond. “C’mon, tell me.”

“I’m starting to get a little nervous, okay?” Dan admitted, rolling his eyes at himself. “I know, I know. It’s stupid.”

“Hey, it’s just me. It’ll be fun, I promise! I still won’t tell you what I have planned because that’ll ruin the surprise, but you’ll love it. You have my word for it.”

“And that you’ll look better than you do through your potato camera?”

“Well… that’s for you to decide.” Phil let out a chuckle. “As long as you promise not to kidnap me, _stranger_.”

“Then I won’t kidnap you. Unless you want me to,” Dan winked. They fell into silent laughter at that and smiled.

Phil’s smile, however, didn’t last very long. He looked distracted all of a sudden while looking at something on his computer screen. It was eerily silent in that moment as Dan watched Phil’s eyes scan whatever he was reading. Phil eventually looked back up, remembering Dan was there. He shook his head at Dan’s questioning look and sat up straighter to open another tab and type.

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked, very concerned at that point. Phil shook his head, but not in denial. In worry, frustration, disbelief.

“Dan… something’s wrong.” Phil finally said, voice low in a whisper as he typed. “Here, I’ll send you a link. Look.”

Dan cast an apprehensive glance at Phil before he clicked on the link and read the news article.

 

**_SPECIAL REPORT: The Dead Walk in Lancashire_ **

**Highly infectious hospital patients turn rabid**

 

Harrison Bertrand, Staff Reporter

2 Oct 2009

LONDON - Three patients at Royal Preston Hospital on Monday reported nausea and discomfort prior to feral states. Doctors found their condition as unstable and found an unidentified virus in their system. Patients experienced symptoms of shortness of breath, incoherent thoughts, and high temperatures within twenty hours. After announced dead, nurses reported that the patients awoken four hours later in a frenzied state and partially devoured the doctor and miscellaneous visitors.

“It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. People were running and screaming throughout the building and the patients continued to terrorize and murder. Even the Police were murdered. They were animals,” Anonymous reports.

The feral patients were quarantined in the building but continued to spread their infection. Many reports are coming in of victims experiencing the same symptoms after being bitten, and an inflamed infection is highly irritated. There is no further information at this time.

_-_

A week passed since that first break of news. Conspiracy theorists ran amuck, unable to believe such a thing and what it could mean. Everyone knew to a certain degree what it meant (an apocalyptic nightmare) but it wasn’t until the epidemic was found in the corners of Essex did the UK begin to seriously reconsider how to approach every day forward.

The one outbreak in Lancashire wasn’t initially enough to spread panic; however, once the infection began to spread throughout the hospital it was immediately quarantined but the spread continued past Lancashire and onwards. As an effort to isolate the horrid disease, all public transportation out of Lancashire was prohibited. Pedestrians could travel in on their own discretion, but there was no promise they could leave. In short, Phil would not be able to meet Dan in Manchester as planned. The two Skyped every night, with Phil updating Dan of how strict his town had suddenly become. He was hardly comfortable enough to walk to the store, let alone meet Dan all the way in Manchester if he were even allowed. Dan, who was only one of the million outsiders who watched the situation in Lancashire from afar, could only sit helpless and watch Phil stress himself out. It didn’t take very long for zombies to appear everywhere throughout the world.

-

_**@AmazingPhil** House is being extra creepy with the noises tonight :| luckily i am brave _

_**@danisnotonfire** @AmazingPhil i want to be there so you don’t have to be brave _

Dan expected a Skype call from Phil after that reply, and he got it. A minute after.

“I want to be there so you don’t have to be brave. I meant it,” Dan said, once he could see Phil’s face.

Yet Phil wasn’t listening and bit his lip, worrying and panic in his eyes. Dan couldn’t stand seeing Phil like that and another while passes of Phil not saying anything. There was nothing else _to_ say.

“Fuck this, I’m going to you.” That snapped Phil out of it.

“Dan. No! What? You’ll end up dead before you’ll be able to reach me here. It’s not worth it. It’s too dangerous.”

“But I could try--”

“And then what? You could get hurt too and who knows if those zombies will show up on the way. How would that help any of us?”

“I just figured it’d be better if you weren’t alone.”

“It would be better,” Phil sighed. “But please don’t come all the way over here for me. You might have a better chance of surviving this than I do right now.”

“Phil, what are you saying?”

“I’m _saying,_ ” He looked at Dan straight in the eyes then. “It won’t be long until _Lancashire_ is everywhere. I’m not sure I’d survive that.”

“You could...”

“There are a lot of maybes now.”

Silence fell upon them and there was a sense of helplessness between them both.

“We were supposed to meet next week yanno,” Dan finally said.

“I know,” Phil tried a smile. “I wanted to take you to the wheel. Maybe have some Starbucks and take you to the Sky Bar.”

“How romantic,” Dan joked.

“I wanted it to be,” Phil confessed. It certainly wasn’t what Dan expected to hear, at least not so forwardly. “So much for the surprise.”

“Can I take a raincheck on that date, then?” Dan waggled his eyebrows as he tried so desperately to lighten the mood. Thankfully, it worked and Phil laughed.

“All the maybes in the world and this _may be_ my favourite.”

“Ha ha.”

“I know I’m funny, thanks.” That set off another round of laughter. Once they finally calmed down, Phil spoke up again. “But I do wonder what could’ve been if it weren’t for… all this.”

“You’re acting like it’s already over.”

“Well, isn’t it?”

“Maybe.”

There was more Dan wanted to say. He wanted to tell Phil that it wasn’t over like he thinks it is, and that maybe there is more to this. And maybe Phil smiled and said that he was kidding, said that he hopes the situation will turn around. Maybe Phil said he hadn’t given up completely and he still had hope. None of that mattered anyway, not when the blackout hit the same night. Phil was gone. The rest of the world was gone. There was no Internet, no service. Nothing.

**_Present_ **

Dan was so overwhelmed by the realization that he did something he hadn’t done in a long time. He dropped his guard - and with it went his pistol as it slipped from his fingers and crashed to the floor.

“I thought you were dead,” he said, somehow out of breath. Phil gasped in mock offense.

“Hey! Wow Dan, you have so much faith in me. I’ll have you know _I_ thought _you_ were dead.”

Dan didn’t know what to say and instead chose to busy himself with picking up the pistol and walking to Phil’s food supply. He felt Phil’s eyes on him and he couldn’t stand it, feeling anger rise within him. He felt duped and betrayed and most of all, emotional. He hated feeling emotional.

Phil walked toward Dan and stopped him, moving Dan toward a chair to sit. Dan let Phil lead him, when normally he’d injure anyone who tries to touch him. He just felt exhausted all of a sudden.

“You sit down. I’ll get you some food. Is that why you tried to rob me?” Dan swallowed thickly and could only nod. Phil shrugged and probably noted Dan as helpless before turning back to the supply.

Dan took the moment to watch Phil closely, unable to shake the feeling in his chest he couldn’t quite pinpoint. Relief? Happiness? _Maybe_. It took Dan another moment until he realized what it was about Phil that made him difficult to recognize at first.

On one hand, there’s the obvious: it’s been years. Dan had seen a lot since that blackout, more than he’d ever let Phil know. After the blackout, he tried to push Phil away from his memory to increase his chances of survival. He wrote him off as dead because he might as well have been.

Then there’s how Phil did not look like the Phil he remembered. This Phil was skinnier, with glasses, with his hair brown and pushed back into a quiff instead of a fringe. But Dan looks different now, too, though not overtly so. With his hobbit hair curls in lieu of a straightener and a scar on his cheek. They both couldn’t look further apart from the former versions of themselves.

“Hope you like canned beans,” Phil eventually said after a moment of silence. That seemed to break Dan out of his reverie, quickly bouncing back into his default. He snorted.

“Hate it.”

“Canned tuna?”

“Even worse,” Dan stated, standing up and walking to the food supply to help himself. “But food is food and beggars can’t be choosers.” He settled on a can of vegetables, peaches, and made a face at the tuna and beans. It’ll have to do.

“Right, beggars like _you_ who would rather kill me instead of oh, I dunno, maybe asking politely?”

“Hmm,” Dan mused while he retrieved the can opener from the side. “This is an impressive food supply to have on your own. Where are the rest of your mates?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“So I was right, you _do_ have others with you. Explains it…”

“Explains what?”

“Don’t take it so personal, Lester,” Dan shrugged, opening the can of peaches and sloshing some in his mouth. After a swallow, he continued. “Politeness is a death sentence.”

“What?”

“Your question. Why I didn’t _ask politely,_ as you put it,” he sneered.

Phil frowned at that, “I’m just saying you could’ve asked…”

“If I _asked_ every time I needed something, I would’ve starved off somewhere by now. It’s still beyond me how you’re alive right now with that attitude. But as I said, your _friends_ explain it.” He slurped the rest of the peaches as he murmured: “Probably explain a big deal.”

Phil looked at him, mouth slightly agape and looking as if he was about to say something in response but stopped himself.

“But I answered _your_ question.” Dan said, moving onto the beans and spoon while paying barely any attention to the other man standing shell-shocked. “Answer mine. Your friends out scavenging for more food or something?”

“Er… or something? I’ve been waiting for them-- which, which is why I saw you coming up here and... thought to grab the rifle.”

Dan narrowed his eyes as he spooned some beans into his mouth. Phil’s response sounded more like a question than a definitive statement.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Phil offered a smile. Dan didn’t take it. Phil relented. “Well, it’s my brother Martyn, Cornelia, and Ian. I was waiting for them but it’s been a few days… I’m starting to doubt they’ll come back.”

Now that Dan could believe. He knew of groups leaving people deemed as unhelpful behind. He also knew of groups that suffered a less fortunate fate.

“Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay,” Phil shrugged. “It’s just life now, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but if it makes you feel any better, I’ve been separated from my group too. Since last week.”

“Not really,” Phil confessed. “You were right. I was right from the beginning, I won’t survive any longer. Especially now that I’m alone. I have my food supply, but it’ll run out eventually.”

Now Dan may be hardened up and resourceful, but he wasn’t a complete arsehole. He wouldn’t leave a once-friend behind to die, and maybe there were selfish reasons he’d started to consider.

“Okay then, how about this. I’m on my way to London. There, they have a base where survivors are located. The place isn’t my cup of tea, but I usually regroup there after separating from my squad. Since we’re both alone, I’m gonna help you get there. As a thank you for all of this food and the fact that you might not last very long on your own.”

“You would?”

“I say what I mean.”

“But what do you want?” Phil asked, an accusatory tone in his voice.

“Nothing. I’m doing this from the _goodness_ of my heart. Just as long as I can take what I want from your stock.” Phil nodded in approval to his request.

“Deal?” Dan said, holding his hand out for Phil to shake on it.

“Deal.” Phil shook it.

“Good. We leave at sunrise.”

**_Manchester, 202 Miles from London_ **

“The journey continues!” Phil held a camcorder in his right hand as he jumped off a ledge. He turned around and angled the camcorder upwards to shoot a view of the city.

Over half the buildings had collapsed completely, and out of the buildings that survived, were either abandoned altogether or barred off. Silence pervaded the streets, for the only noise was the sound of Dan and Phil’s feet walking on rubble.

Phil lowered his camcorder and turned to see Dan still looking up, confusion evident in his expression.

“I’ve been trying to figure out...” Dan paused, catching up to Phil who had stopped to wait for him. “Looks like a bomb blew up here.”

“That’s because it did.” Dan tore his eyes away from the fallen city around him to raise his eyebrows in silent question. Phil continued on as they walked. “Well, you know how the breakout started in Lancashire?”

That night Internet and service cut out, it never quite turned back on again. The general populace immediately suspected there were plans conspired by government officials, plans they didn’t want to be broadcasted to the entire world. Of those confirmed plans was the situation in Manchester.

Dan nodded his understanding, but hardly paid any attention when Phil relayed the story to him.

“As you know, the situation in Lancashire was… not good. But Manchester was _even worse_ ,” Phil explained to Dan who still appeared lost to the world. “Because the breakout was happening too frequently, zombies appeared left and right, well, you can see what happened in the end.”

Dan’s gaze landed back on Phil then, when something more blasé and recognizable settled in the pit of his stomach; that all too familiar burn of apathy.

“And what happened in the end was letting a bomb go off?”

“They didn’t let it. They placed it there on purpose. Everyone went to a meeting and decided they would all leave and bomb the city, destroying everything and everyone left behind. The zombies were the main target but…”

“Ah.”

Phil didn’t have to finish for Dan to get it. Dan knew it. He lived it. Sometimes the craziest shit would be done in return for survival. He was no stranger to being pushed to his wit’s end when it came to living. Hell, he had almost murdered Phil the previous night because that’s what he was used to. He was used to raids, no mercy, no weakness, no excuses.

So then what was he doing, helping Phil get to London?

He kicked the thought away just as he kicked the rocks at his feet. There’s nothing to explain. Sure, he may have mulled over the thought for much longer than necessary the previous night, when he was supposed to rest easy because Phil was kind enough to offer him his bed - because Phil was still so goddamn nice and Dan couldn’t believe it.

What part of Dan nearly _killing_ him for all that he had wasn’t going through to his head? If the situation were reversed, he would’ve shot the twit who tried to best him once for trying and _twice_ just because he could. Yeah, that’s right. Without a second thought, he would have done it…

A groan escaped him. Whether it was because he had to detour around the building that was nothing more than a pile of brick and concrete to take the longer way or because of the intrusive thoughts knocking and suddenly making itself home in his thoughts, he didn’t want to know the answer.

Because as it were, the rules Phil played by might as well have been for a completely different game compared to Dan’s. And Phil was… Phil. Not just a remnant; absolute and whole, as amazing as he remembered.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dan asked earlier that morning, when Dan had filled his backpack to the brim with necessities -- and Phil was packing his lion?

“I couldn’t leave Lion behind,” Phil answered simply as he placed the stuffed animal in his backpack and zipped it close. “The little guy has survived this long with me. Clearly a keeper.”

With a smile and nod of his head, the older man turned on his heel and walked out the door leaving behind a rather dumbfounded Dan. _He’s kept that thing all this time?_

Suddenly, Dan wondered if it was now his task to constantly question what Phil was up to.

“What is that?” Dan asked, when he dared to look back at Phil… who was recording shit… with a camcorder nestled between his fingers like he had not a care in the world.

Seemingly unaffected by Dan’s utter confusion, he didn’t say a word as he caught up to him and brought the camcorder closer to Dan’s face. The initial annoyance soon dissipated when Phil eventually lowered the cam, leaving it as the only object between them.

Dan hadn’t actually looked at Phil properly until now, with his eyes as muddled a blue as their morning sky. Except this blue, this was a blue that sparkled. Phil’s grin appeared to widen at Dan’s loss for words, and with a gentle nudge to the other man, he sauntered away and answered, “I’ve always had it with me.”

“You seem to love that answer, don’t you?” Dan responded once he was able to piece his thoughts back together again and return to Phil’s side.

“Almost as much as I love keeping myself occupied,” he shrugged nonchalantly and then jumped up suddenly, landing in a crouched position as he angled the device at Dan’s frame. “It has made everything more interesting,” a step backward. “Like an action movie.”

Dan rolled his eyes and gripped his hand on Phil’s shoulder to pull him up. “You’re an idiot.”

“Why? Because I like to film everything like a home movie? You’d probably do it too if you had a camera on you.”

Dan barked a laugh: “I’m certain I would _not_ \--”

“But you have to admit the novelty of it.”

“Nope, I don’t see it.”

Phil looked amused at Dan’s responses, and for some reason, that really ticked him off. He tried a glare out but it didn’t stick, not when Phil’s intentions were admittedly too pure for the person he is now.

“You totally see it.”

“I told you I don’t,” Dan argued back defensively, despite the voice in his head that told him this entire conversation was pointless and he should drop it.

Phil was about to say something, but Dan figured Phil picked up on an expression on his face that caused him to look down at his camcorder and toy his fingers through the strap of it. So Phil was just going to leave him to wonder what the hell he was thinking of now when he said the least incriminating thing he could have ever said? Not on his fuckin’ watch.

“What?” Dan asked, clearly agitated again.

Phil tilted his head up, some of his light brown hair falling in front of his eyes. With a push of his hair back with his hand, he chuckled and scarlet bloomed on his cheeks.

“You’re cute when you’re stubborn.”

“I’m a stubborn person, always am.” Dan tried to pretend he didn’t hear the first part, paying extra attention to where he was walking instead.

“Then I guess you’re always cute.”

So much for that. Why did his face feel hot all of a sudden?

He actually felt relieved when he chanced a look at Phil, who at that point was no longer making it his mission to throw statements at Dan that were completely uncalled for. Instead, he was back to filming on his camcorder. Dan couldn’t understand why, if he was filming for the _novelty_ as he put it, he was filming _this_. This nothing, this once-city with a now-population of 50 at most.

But there was Phil anyway, focused on such a menial task like he truly had nothing to be bothered by. Funny how that worked. Here Phil was treating the game like child’s playtime, whereas Dan was all but determined to pull all the stops necessary to win it. Even knowing this, he allowed a tiny smile. At least one of them hadn’t changed. Just for a moment, Dan could pretend things weren’t so different. Maybe.

-

“I knew you bringing Lion was a stupid idea,” Dan practically yelled at Phil, who by all means looked entirely unconcerned by their predicament. They had winded up at a convenience store, and if anyone knew Dan, they would know he never passes up an opportunity to raid what he can find. At that point, Dan had long since been a pro at gathering all the things he assessed as useful within a matters of minutes, and this was no different the moment they stepped in and confirmed there were no Fuckers crawling around -- as Dan so eloquently called them.

The problem arose, however, when Dan had everything from alcohol bottles to lighters and first aid kits in his hands but nowhere to put them. Because he had already filled his own backpack entirely that morning, it left Phil to make room in his own. Phil who, after the events of that morning, obviously made the ingenious decision to take up the most space for his damn stuffed animal.

“I already said I’m not leaving him behind.”

“Why did I expect anything different?” Dan quipped dryly. “Hand me your bag, I can try to fit some of this in there.”

Phil was in no position to argue and did as was told, catching Lion when Dan unzipped the backpack and threw the stuffed animal at his face. _If only his attachment to Lion wasn’t so fucking endearing_ , Dan grumbled in his head, even more so because he even thought it. With a huff, he finished packing all the items tightly, barely able to zip it close without some of Lion’s head sticking out. Dan gave Phil a look as he pushed the backpack to his chest and made his way out the door. Turning him soft _and_ wasting no breath to yell at Phil for it? This guy…

“He’s really good with that kind of stuff isn’t he?” Dan barely stifled a sigh at the sound of Phil, typical Phil as he’s learned, talking to his camcorder like it was a friend that gave a shit about his outcomes. By the volume of his voice, Dan could tell the other man was still two paces behind. So he retrieved a bottle of water from his backpack and raised it to his lips, turning and staring expectantly at Phil who was-- yep. Still behind.

“Flattery gets you nowhere. Walking faster does.” Phil rolled his eyes with a smile and ran up to Dan’s side, sending Dan a message with his eyes that clearly read: _happy?_

“Oh my god, he actually did it.” Dan looked at the lens that was focused in his direction then, a dramatic flare in his voice: “Phil Lester _does_ know how to listen to me. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“You must have really low expectations from me if _that_ came as a surprise to you.”

Wait it wasn’t what he was saying at all. No, he was twisting his words--“I didn’t mean--”

“Dan, I’m kidding.”

The brune’s glare was back, sharper than ever and tinged with annoyance. Phil laughed; a hearty one that paired so beautifully with his beaming smile. Dan looked away, squeezing his water bottle so tight the plastic crumpled in his hand. At once, the roles had reversed and he was the one who had fallen behind, eyes narrowed ahead at Phil who was facing the cam away and around, toward himself, murmured something low enough that Dan couldn’t hear.

It was bad enough Dan’s focus had to cover the both of them, as it was painfully clear Phil had no room for calculation amongst his recording and his guarding of a stuffed lion that was years old. It was even worse that now thanks to Phil doing that absolutely nothing, Dan was losing his own ability to focus.

Another quick, angry swig from his water bottle and he turned away from Phil. Phil who still had such a carefree and frivolous ambience that it made the knots in Dan’s stomach tighten. His steps weren’t sluggish, his posture though horrible wasn’t sunken and filled with hopelessness, his smile was naturally placed without a hint of masquerade, and his ass, well… _fuck_ , Dan was looking at him again, wasn’t he?

Another cross stare at Phil and Dan turned away (serious this time!), throwing the plastic bottle to the dirt. He looked at the buildings; the trees and plants, an overwhelming veneer of death and decay above them all and subsequently, the stench hit his nose. The one specific stench he’d know in his sleep: the smell of rotting flesh.

Time slowed to a standstill, Dan hardly blinked within the split second his hand went to his holster, an automatic reflex, and he fired. The Fucker nearly at Phil’s side moaned and thrashed and Dan fired his revolver once more, the bullet a perfect shot: right at his brain. Dan’s revolver was still poised, daring the Fucker to move again. It was as dead as dead could be.

“Watch your ass next time,” Dan remarked, shaking his head disapprovingly.

“You’ll do that for me, won’t you,” Phil winked.

Dan’s eyes narrowed when he chose not to respond to Phil’s jest, and Phil was momentarily shook as Dan approached, dropped to his knees, and proceeded to fish through the pockets of the Fucker for anything valuable he might find there.

“Gross,” Phil commented at his side.

“A few bullets and a pack of _Wrigley’s Extra Cool Breeze Sugar Free Gum_. Wanna take a bet on how old that is?”

Phil’s nose scrunched up in disgust at the thought of how old it could be.

Phil’s nose mostly scrunched up in disgust at the smell of rotting flesh.

Dan got up from his knees and pocketed the bullets in his utility belt. He continued onward as if nothing happened, and from the corner of his eye he was able to see Phil press his lips together in a thin line before putting away the camcorder. Good fucking riddance.

Ahead in their pathway, a pile of rubble was just the most convenient height for Dan to hoist himself atop of. He set his backpack on the ground and with bent knees, jumped up and gripped onto the ledge. Using the traction of his boots, he was able to scale the bricks and pull his body above the platform with a groan. He looked down at Phil and motioned for the backpack. With outstretched arms, he retrieved the bag and reached out his hand to help Phil up.

Dan was about to pull away once Phil was adjusted when Phil tugged him back, his hand still holding onto Dan’s.

“Hey uh, thanks for saving me back there,” Phil finally said, face flushed and not from the physical exertion alone. “I was acting careless and stupid and I’m sorry.”

“You’ve been acting careless and stupid this whole time--”

“I know.”

“--But it’s a good thing you’re too adorable for me to really say anything about it.” Phil’s eyes widened comically in response, he looked taken aback, sheepish, and oh, Dan very much liked how the tables have turned. “And as annoying as it is, I like you alive.”

Phil opened his mouth, words at the tip of his tongue, but then something caught his attention behind Dan and he broke into a wide grin. Dan was barely able to grab ahold of his backpack before Phil dragged him along.

-

“You’re unbelievable,” Dan commented in a near whisper. The twist in the story however, was that Dan was _smiling_.

“I couldn’t resist.”

“I can’t believe you.”

Phil, despite protests and demands from Dan to let go of him and turn his no-chill-o-meter down two notches and then some, had excitedly dragged him by the hand across the mound of bricks and concrete. Up they went on a smaller ledge only to stop at one building. The building that, like others in the area, had collapsed from the top down, and provided a stair-like entryway into what Dan could only then recognize as the ruins of Manchester Piccadilly Station.

Dan stepped toward the train tracks, barely realising he was still holding Phil’s hand the whole time, and he let out a whistle. His eyes hovered over the area, something undeterminable sprouting in his emotions, and he placed his hands on his hips when he turned back at Phil.

“I can’t be the only one who feels…” He paused to find the right word: “a bit cheated. Am I?”

Phil’s smile fell to a frown when his eyebrows furrowed in question, “Cheated how?”

“Cheated. Cheated out of all the people not here, cheated out of being on a train that led me here, cheated out of being so, so happy to see you and don’t get me wrong, I am--” He felt what the Portuguese call _saudade_ ; the longing for what never was. That was the feeling he couldn’t determine. He couldn’t stand it either way. “--But I just didn’t want to see you this way. Like this. Here, after so many years of preferring you dead so I didn’t have to give a shit. I feel cheated because maybe we could have had something better for us.”

“Maybe...”

“All the maybes in the world and this may be… the worst of them all.”

“ _Excuse you_ , that’s my line,” he joked. “We must have the worst of luck to match, then,” Phil settled his ass on-- by god was this bench the only thing in the entire place that wasn’t completely wrecked? He settled his ass on the thing less likely to snap beneath him. “I wish I knew these maybes were a 2 for 1 deal before I started it.”

“Ha,” Dan nearly snorted. “You’re not entirely to blame. We were both young and naive. Hoping for the best like there was a best to offer.”

“Isn’t the Apocalypse’s best staying alive?”

“The Apocalypse’s best is _New Born_ literally becoming our reality.”

“Have you seen too much?”

Dan considered the question before sitting down next to Phil.

“Haven’t you?” was his response.

Comfortable silence passed between them, and Dan very much wished he could hum and sing the tune. It had been so long since he knew the melody. Phil, ever the savior, sang under his breath: “ _cause you’ve seen, seen too much. Too young…_ ”

Dan remembered this bit: “ _Young, soulless is everywhere_.”

Phil dramatically air drummed as they sang to each other softly. The words once memorized to heart came naturally.

“ _Destroy the spineless, tell me it’s real. Wasting our last chance to come away. Just break the silence cause I’m drifting away, away from you._ ”

Phil raised an impressed brow at Dan. “I had no idea your voice could go that high.”

“You don’t know a lot of things about me now, Phil.” He briefly wondered if adding the now part became his biggest tell. If it did, Phil didn’t say.

They sobered up somewhat because of that, and Phil nodded as if he understood. After a tense second, Dan stood up and motioned with his head.

“We should get going,” Phil stated before Dan could, getting up as well. His smile fell at the movement and Dan frowned.

“Hey, Phil?” Dan asked before his brain could catch up with his mouth. The other man stared at him in response and Dan couldn’t fight the smirk. “You kept your promise.”

Phil angled his head in confusion. _What promise?_

“You _do_ look better than you did through your potato camera.”

Phil smiled, a little chuckle escaping him. Dan felt more at ease at that.

“Yeah, well, I can’t say you held up your end of the promise.”

“Which was?”

“That you weren’t gonna kidnap me.”

“But is it kidnapping if you’re coming willingly?”

“Guess not,” Phil admitted, reddening at the insinuation. He calmed as the next words escaped him. “I only wish I held up my end of the deal.”

Now it was Dan’s turn to look puzzled. What else was there? The details of that night were murky, much to his disappointment years after when he needed just a little spark of contentedness.

“I wish we could’ve done everything I planned out for us that day, or even less, met at least once before--”

“This,” Dan finished for him. Phil nodded, the guilt in his expression apparent.

 _What for?_ Was the only question that came to Dan’s mind. It wasn’t like they asked for any of this to happen. They didn’t ask for a zombie breakout, to be separated from all the people they cared about, forced to be wary of all intentions. At least, that’s what the view looked like to Dan. Worst of all was this hollow unwelcome feeling of being in a place, at the wrong time and situation. Dan didn’t like to dwell, and this moment, standing in a locale that would have, could have made him happy in an alternate universe, he remembered exactly why.

Phil stepped into his personal space and without warning, his arms were around Dan’s waist, pulling him tight into a hug.

Dan stilled, every fibre in his body on high alert screaming: fight or flee. He did neither, and to his own surprise, he reciprocated and pulled Phil closer. He’ll chalk it up to the fact that Phil’s hug was nice, firm, comforting. Dan could allow himself to indulge in moments every now and then.

“Sorry.” He could feel puffs of air against his neck when Phil spoke. “I’ve been wanting to hug you all this time I--”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” Dan said, stepping back and assessing Phil’s face that visibly relaxed. “Count yourself lucky, Lester. Anyone else pull what you just did and I would be dealing with bruised ribs at the minimum.” Dan grabbed his backpack and tugged it over his shoulders.

“Am I your only exception?”

Dan rolled his eyes and sung in amusement: “ _You are pushing it._ ”

Whatever moment passed between them next to those train tracks, it was a much-needed icebreaker neither man knew they needed until it happened. Before their arrival at the station, Dan was always tense and weary around Phil. He didn’t completely relax after their hug, and there was a noticeable difference in the dynamic between them.

Unfortunately, their fortunate moment went as soon as it came. In hindsight, Dan should’ve been smarter to think a shit ton of those Fuckers would be lurking in the station. Dan also should’ve been smarter to think this would be the perfect place for a Fuckers _nest_. But once again, he’d pin the blame onto Phil - Phil who apparently had a knack for distracting him and now has his camera out, filming it all like a fucking nature documentary.

“ _I’m_ trying to not get us killed,” he whisper-yelled. “What the hell?” They were crouched on the precipice of the second floor, with Dan looking for a way out when those Fuckers were below them, moaning and groaning at each other as if it were at a zombie mixer. “Please spare me. Do you seriously need that right now?”

“Yes,” Phil nodded, turning away from the viewfinder and nodding at Dan with such conviction, Dan had half a mind to throw his smiley face and the damn camcorder especially into the pit of Fuckers and make a run for it on his own.

“But _now_?”

“I’m catching all of it!” Dan gave him a look that was equally a glare as it was bewilderment. “When the apocalypse blows over, this footage will go viral! I can already feel my Oscar in my hands. The academy will love it.”

Dan prayed the last of his atheist ass away, pursing his lips together at a certain obnoxiously oblivious Lester, not even thinking over what he said next.

“....YOU CAN’T FEEL YOUR OSCAR WHEN YOU’RE DEAD.”

 _Fuck Phil, fuck Phil, fuck him so hard,_ Dan cursed to himself, not giving a single damn on whether he was saying it aloud or not, as he roughly pulled Phil back by the arm and fired his pistol at the Fuckers starting to crawl up the fallen platform, their attention spiked by Dan’s shouting.

Dan crouched and tugged Phil with him, dragging him like a rag doll to a counter they could hide behind. He surveyed the area, looking for a way out. That is, a way out _other_ than the open wall the Fuckers were fraternizing next to. He could hear the moans and groans of the other Fuckers who were searching for them, the horrid sound of their shrieks echoing nearer.

“Fuck it. Stay here and don’t move until I say so,” Dan ordered to Phil under his breath as he retrieved his revolver this time. “You’ve done enough already.”

Without another word, Dan used his stealth to move away from Phil and toward the four Fuckers looking away from him. Now he was in his element. He lingered on the trigger for just a second and then fired the revolver four times in the short amount of time he was open. One by one, they fell to the floor – except for one. 3 out of 4; he was slacking.

The lone Fucker was startled into frenzy, her shrieking a piercing cacophony in Dan’s ears. Her head lolled frantically trying to find the culprit, who at that point was crouched behind a ticket booth. The sound of his gun attracted the attention of the Fuckers next to the open wall, so he had to act fast. Dan took a deep breath, replaced his revolver for his shiv, and charged for the Fucker head on, stabbing it in the neck.

The oncoming Fuckers were moving in his direction by the time he looked back up, and for the first time in a while he felt a spike of panic. He heard a whirring sound and it wasn’t more than a second before the area was ablaze.

“ _Oh, Phil! My hero, my silver knight!”_ Phil said beside him as he ran and tugged Dan by his jacket to make their escape out. “Thank you for quickly fixing a Molotov cocktail, oh I should have _never_ told you to stay behind, you _deserve_ an apology for _saving_ me!”

Dan glared at him.

**_Macclesfield Forest, 169 Miles from London_ **

“I’m sorry,” Dan sighed.

After leaving the station, the two men found their way to a trading post in Macclesfield. It was abandoned when they arrived; presumably because what survivors were left would not last any longer in such a secluded area and most likely joined the others at the London. But that didn’t concern them too much when there were items to loot and leave behind.

It was dusk when Dan and Phil exited the post, but they continued on south until darkness fell. At that time, they decided to set up a minicamp—a single fire next to two sleeping bags and blankets they acquired from the trading post—on the outskirts of the forest.

So that’s where they were, sat next to each other and faces lit only by the glow of the fire. The silence at night was eerie, but this was nothing new in a world almost entirely wiped out and dying.

“I was joking about that apology,” Phil shrugged, a chuckle in his throat. “But I’ll accept it.”

“Are you always joking?” Dan asked while his head motioned to the camcorder on Phil’s lap.

Another shrug and a laugh from the man who seemed to retain his humanity despite it all, and he digressed: “Besides, we made a deal. I don’t think I could make it to London on my own.”

“No, I’m serious.” Dan’s eyes were curious and trying to make sense of him. “Why do you always act so…?”

“Facetious?”

“Okay Mister English-Language-And-Linguistics.”

“You remember that?” Phil asked, surprise colouring his face. Dan didn’t respond verbally, but the message was there in the way that he looked down and tried to hide the blush on his cheeks. Of course he remembered. He didn’t spend two of his teenage years and then some fanboying over the AmazingPhil to not remember the most basic trivia.

“Honest answer?” Phil’s fingers toyed with the camcorder strap. “It gives me a purpose, something to look forward to. Don’t look at me like that! I know how it sounds, but it’s true. If I can film videos every once in a while it’s easier to pretend nothing changed and I don’t have to think about all the bad stuff.”

“You and your sunny disposition,” Dan marveled, shaking his head in a mix of awe and… pity.

“Hey!” Phil defended, bumping his shoulder against Dan’s. “It’s not the weirdest way to cope. I don’t want to feel hopeless. I need something to make me happy and if making silly video blogs out of an apocalyptic nightmare does that, I’ll take what distractions I can get.”

“But that stuff doesn’t help you survive—“

“Well, it helps _me_. We can’t all be badass and easily take down multiple zombies at once, Dan, but I’ve survived this long, haven’t I?” He racked his brain to try and think of a better way to explain it. “Okay, let’s rewind this back to 2009 and before then. Think of all the zombie movies and games we used to play before it became our life. The end credits came, and we knew it was the end. We could go back to our normal life, eat our normal food, ride the normal train, hang out with our normal friends. What’s normal anymore? You’re nowhere close to how you used to be no matter how hard I try to find ways you’re the same.”

Dan opened his mouth to speak, but Phil continued before he could get a word out.

“That’s all on me, I know, but if everybody’s changing – I can’t be the only one who doesn’t want to.”

“You’re not,” Dan admitted. “But shit happens. You adjust. You learn to…live with it.”

Phil scoffed and laid down on his back, his hands still clasped around the camcorder but absentmindedly fiddling with it. He stared at Dan over his nose and Dan stared at him right back. A long moment of silence passed of them both looking at each other and saying nothing, the sound of crickets literally starting up from somewhere in the forest grounds (hopefully nowhere near their pants).

“Can I confess something to you?” Phil eventually said. “You caught on yesterday when we first met. I was lying about my group. They’re never coming back because they didn’t leave me alone in Manchester; I left them – and I feel like complete rubbish. How can you do it? The moment I met you, you were almost entirely apathetic about… everything! Don’t you care at all?”

“I try not to. I learned from the very beginning that caring for someone in our situation is bounds for disaster,” he supposed. “But why bother lying? Like I said, _shit_ _happens_. Sometimes people have to be left behind. Doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“But it was _my own brother_ , his girlfriend, my friend. One week we were all together, then by the next I was alone.” Phil brought a hand to rub at his eyes through the black frames, fatigued at the thought after having already spent far too long a time crying about it a month ago. “I lost my family, my friends, as I’m sure you have. Do you know what they all had in common? They stopped caring; they gave up and lost hope. I can still remember my mum and dad’s screams to leave as Martyn rushed me out the door, not even two hours after we Skyped and talked for the last time. We had to leave them behind… then I turned back around and left my brother when his girlfriend was bit and he refused to leave her side. We both knew what would happen and I refused to leave at first, but then they kept on telling me to go and stay where you found me. So, I stayed there, and waited, hoping for a miracle of their return but that never came.”

Dan certainly didn’t expect _that_ much, but Phil kept going.

“I waited for weeks. Six weeks with that huge food supply I only had because it’s what we all managed to scavenge over the years – and then you came along.”

“I was wrong.” Dan joined Phil on the ground and angled slightly so he could lean on his left elbow to face him. “I rather prefer your sunny disposition. Reality doesn’t suit you well.”

“Thanks.”

“So you bring that camera along, and Lion, and who knows what else because you don’t want to become someone else? Huh.”

“Old Phil is still in here, alive and thriving,” Phil murmured. “Not giving up on him just yet.”

“I see.”

“Then why did you give up on the Old Dan?”

That one threw him for a loop, and his skin crawled at the idea of trying to fabricate an excuse when he was actually getting some honesty from Phil, no jokes and no teasing in the slightest. How funny was that? Maybe it was fair of Dan to give him the same decency in return.

“When Skype cut out, for a second I actually considered taking a train straight to you…”

“You did not.” Phil’s mouth dropped open.

“Just for a second! Don’t start getting all stressed over it, I _thought_ about it. That was it. I didn’t go anywhere. I was actually with my family for about nine months after the outbreak went global, but like anyone else, we all got separated. I’ve no idea where they all ended up now -- dead, alive and hiding out somewhere, I don’t know. So, I moved on.”

“Do you miss them?”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve missed anyone.”

“Oh.”

“Try not to. It weighs you down,” Dan mumbled, turning away from Phil to look at the stars. “At least that’s what made sense.”

“What changed?”

“Nothing _changed_.”

“That’s not true. How did not missing anyone make sense?”

“Survival tactics, Phil. It doesn’t _have_ to make sense, all that matters is it works. Hyde, the first guy in my group, helped me steal the earliest firearms when they were available. Then came Evelyn, and Terra with them. It was the four of us, The Quad if you will, looking out for each other, but we also understood if we had to -- every man for himself.”

Dan omitted the part where for a good year he flirted with the idea of coming across Phil the further they went north. He was teased relentlessly and entertaining the thought was fun while it lasted, but the wake up call of this life or death situation did not take very long to hit.

“Are those three the people you were separated from? Well obviously, since you’re here alone.”

“Yeah, there was a situation with some Fuckers. Too many in one area and we had to split up, we never regrouped. Two weeks later, I’m hungry as fuck in Manchester and exchange some guy’s life and directions to London for food and shelter.”

“Sounds vaguely familiar,” Phil joked, poking a tongue out the side. Dan rolled his eyes with a short puff of laughter.

“Anyway, the four of us hate the London base because it’s such a mundane place to be in, but it’s a central point when we ever do find ourselves alone. Every man for himself is necessary sometimes, but you’d sooner be dead on your own than with other people.”

“Wait, how can the London base be mundane? Does it really matter as long as you stay alive?”

“Maybe. I guess I never found a reason to stay. I didn’t know anyone other than Hyde, Ev, and Terra. They weren’t a fan of the rations and I was eventually convinced the same. Besides, I kind of like the excitement.”

“So you basically like a death wish?”

“Not a death wish!” Dan defended.

“Kinda sounds like it!” Phil responded in the same tone.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night!” Dan countered again.

“It just might now that you mention it.”

“Don’t be a twat.”

“You love it.”

“I admit to nothing.”

-

Dan wakes the next morning to the sight of Phil putting out the fire and organizing his things. It was only then did Dan get to fully see everything Phil had with him in his backpack. There was Lion, two water bottles, a switchblade, one more can of food, a first aid kit and…

“A cassette player, Phil? Really?” Dan’s voice was raspy from having just woken, but this time his tone was laced with more amusement than annoyance (probably another byproduct of recently waking).

“And tapes, too,” Phil smiled, tossing one of them to Dan still on the ground.

Dan would chalk it up to some sort of delirium for why he let out a long, drawn out laugh when he saw what the title of the tape was: _Origin of Symmetry_.

“Holy shit, how _old_ is this?”

“Very,” Phil chuckled as he zipped his backpack. “It was my favorite album.”

 _Mine, too._ Dan nodded once with a smile and held both items out for Phil to take back. He wiggled his legs out of the sleeping bag and began to pack up. Phil bided his time by plugging in earphones and listening to the cassette tape, to which Dan only shot a fond glance at. When he was finished and ready to go, he walked up to Phil and pulled one earphone out of his ears to place it into his.

“Sharing is caring,” he said in a simple tone while looking down at his compass and leading the way.

“You could’ve just asked,” Phil laughed as they walked.

“Coulda just asked _your mum_ ,” Dan mumbled his breath, to the cringe of both himself and Phil. “Sorry.”

Rather than being upset with him and becoming offended, Phil continued to surprise and let out a laugh. “If there’s one thing to leave behind the apocalypse, it’s the your mum jokes.”

“You know what, I might just have to agree with you there, Phil.”

They fell into a comfortable silence as they listened to Citizen Erased. Phil stumbled, his feet tripping on the small ridge that lined straight down the middle of their path, leaving a ditch to easily fall into. Dan rolled his eyes with a smile when the earphone was pulled out of his ear in the process.

“Again, don’t know how you’ve survived this far with your coordination.”

“Just as fine as you as it turns out,” Phil quipped.

“Maybe even better,” he supposed. Dan held out his hand to ask for the earphone and Phil gave it to him.

To show how wrong he was in his assumptions even further, Phil actually, like think about this for a minute, _actually_ proved himself capable against Fuckers. Yeah, who woulda thought that in their next encounter with zombies, they were able to tag team and take them all down? Dan sure didn’t. And certainly not in the awestruck, _holy shit I can’t believe you’re so badass I’m staring at you like how General Shang did when he got his ass handed to him by Mulan kind of way_. Definitely not.

After they left the outskirts of the forest, all they saw were long roads, some abandoned cars (which they checked and found: no gas), and desolation as the trees and vegetation have died by the putrid virus that emanates from the undead. Imagine walking on a road with an undeterminable end and there is nothing to look at. The two boys were so utterly bored and disinterested by this they almost wished there was some zombie to encounter next and shake things up. Even Phil’s camcorder remained idle in his hand, and _that’s_ saying something -- until he decided to point his camera upward at the sky and babble on about the overcast clouds and the expected rain they will not be pleased about.

“Thanks for the forecast, Phil.”

“I could be the first weatherman of the Apocalypse! When’s the last time we had a weatherman?”

They didn’t know how long they had been trudging along. It could have been hours or days for all they knew, but at long last, they found a haven: the first of many abandoned houses. The unlocked and tattered door easily pushed at one touch. Dan observed the scratch marks against the wood, like a Fucker had tried to claw its way out of the house.

“Do you think it’s new?” Phil asked. Dan shrugged.

“No idea.” He brought his hand up to run over the marks. “It’s too hard to tell, but whatever zombie was trying to get out here _really_ wanted to get out.”

“How do we know if they were fully turned when they did this? Maybe they were delirious and desperate?”

“Could be,” Dan said. They turned to the sound of pitter-patter and saw that it had started to rain. Dan pulled out his shotgun, looked at Phil, and motioned to the house. “Follow my lead.”

They slowly inched into the house and made sure there was no one there. It was a quaint little house with one large room, so there wasn’t very much to look for. After confirming it to be true, Phil relaxed and went to the kitchen to see if there was any food left behind. He opened the fridge.

“Oh my god!” he yelped, and subsequently shut the fridge door, dropping his camcorder in the process. Dan shot him a questioning look but Phil only shook his head and appeared utterly disgusted as he bent down to pick up the fallen object.

Since Phil forgoes saying anything, Dan had no choice but to see what it was for himself… and he subsequently shut the fridge door. “I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing that.”

 _That_ being pieces of the undead, separated by bone, organs, and worst of all - heads. Dan and Phil stood there, not sure what to make of what they just saw. Then Phil spoke up.

“Bone appetit?”

Dan burst into a laugh. “You nerd.”

Phil shrugged with a smile. He couldn’t deny the truth.

For the next few hours, the rain poured. They had shelter and food (not counting what was found in the fridge, god please no) and therefore decided to leave the following morning when the rain let up a little.

Dan, in all of his indifference, spent most of that time attached to Phil at the hip... or rather, by the earphones. It was for Muse. It’s been years since he’s listened to them, they were his favourite band, that was all there was to it. _Just_ Muse.

“Where do you think Matt Bellamy is now?” Phil pondered. “No… where do you think Sarah Michelle Gellar is now?”

“Slaying zombies probably,” Dan answered absentmindedly, lounging next to Phil on a couch. _New Born_ was playing in their ear.

“That’s an amazing image.”

“Of course, then you’d have to realistically think if they’re actually still alive by now.”

“Negative Nancy,” Phil said.. “...Negative _Dan_ cy.”

Dan removed the earphone and proceeded to walk toward the door to open it wide, making a show of wanting to leave like the absolute Drama King he was. He heard Phil’s giggles behind him and couldn’t believe he wanted to laugh at such a lame _pun_. But Phil’s giggle was so light and carefree -- Dan quelled the flutter in his chest.

He was stunned out of a momentary stupor by Phil stepping in front of him to go outside.

“What are you doing? It’s raining.”

“Weren’t you just about to go outside right now?”

“I wasn’t _actually_.”

Phil looked at the steady rain hitting the soil and back at Dan. “Why not?” He challenged, and there was that sparkle in his eye Dan wasn’t feeling too good about. Oh no.

Before he could protest, Phil pulled him by the hand and ran outside into the rain. Phil grinned and basked in the feel of rain against his skin that was both unprecedented and refreshing.

“Now I look like a wet poodle,” Dan commented dryly.

“I fail to see how there’s anything wrong with that,” Phil said when turning back to Dan. He almost slipped, not realising Dan was already standing so close to him. And that their fingers were still laced together.

“Your glasses are wet. I doubt you can see anything right now.”

Phil let out a laugh as he removed his black frames and peered at Dan. “Nope, still cute. Your point?”

“I… have none.” Dan gulped, the feeling of rain against his back starting to fade causing a chill to run up his spine. Or was it?

Phil inched a little closer, testing their proximity to see if Dan would step away. He didn’t. Pleased, he pushed a little more and was struck by the way Dan started to stare back at him, wide-eyed and anticipating.

But before he could blink or do anything close to what he’d wanted, Dan stepped backward and fired his shotgun to the side. Phil could only turn his head in the direction of the bullet and watch in disbelief as a Fucker fell to the ground. “You’re _kidding_.”

Thunder roared above them.

Whatever moment they had before was gone. Dan dropped his hand and motioned his head toward the house.

“We should head back inside before it really starts to pour again,” Dan cast a glance at the Fucker. “And before any more of these guys show up.”

Phil frowned and put his glasses back on. _How does it feel to be cockblocked by a zombie?_ He narrowed his eyes at the more-than-dead-zombie as he passed by it. “Thanks for that.”

-

“Why did I think that was a good idea?” Phil groaned a few hours later in the room, still shivering after having changed into some clothes they found in a cabinet.

“You tell me,” Dan gave him a pointed look while handing him blanket. “If you get sick, you can’t blame me.”

“Okay, _mum_ ,” Phil rolled his eyes. He set down the now empty can of vegetables he finished on the nightstand and draped himself in the blanket.

Dan sat on the bed and stopped Phil, who had moved to exit the room.

“Where are you going?”

“To the living room? You’re taking this room, aren’t you?”

“Yeah but, where will you sleep?”

“On the couch?” Phil said, confused at Dan’s behaviour.

“I mean… you don’t _have_ to sleep on the couch. There’s room for two and since you’re still freezing, you can get warmer with -- body heat.”

“Body heat,” Phil repeated, smiling a little then. He’d never seen Dan so flustered. Well, he _had_. Years ago, but this was different.

“If you wanted me to sleep next to you, you could’ve just asked,” Phil said simply, all the while walking to the bed and sliding under the covers.

“That’s not what this is,” Dan faltered, following suit and getting under the warm duvet.

“Oh, it isn’t?”

“No, just don’t want you to die of hypothermia. It’s not fair either since I’m not as cold as you.” And he wasn’t. He shed his jacket and jeans to dry and put on some sweats and a jumper he found at the trading post the previous night. Even though Phil did the same, he was clearly freezing more than him.

“Alright, then thank you for caring,” Phil said, not thinking too much about it when he leaned forward and kissed Dan on the cheek.

If they weren’t going to talk about what did or didn’t almost happen outside in the rain, then they didn’t have to. Dan, in that moment especially, didn’t have to talk about the rising blush on his cheeks either.

“Night Dan,” Phil sighed as he wrapped himself tighter in his blanket and the duvet. Dan only found his voice when he noticed Phil’s breathing had evened.

-

_Bang!_

Phil woke with a start. His eyes widened at another sound of something crashing and immediately got up from the bed to see what was happening. He definitely didn’t expect to find Dan fighting off a zombie with a 2x4.

“Oh shit!”

“Did you just _swear_?” Dan asked in disbelief. Momentarily distracted, the Fucker got a scratch to Dan’s arm and he screamed in response.

As that happened, Phil managed to get to his pistol across the room and winced at Dan’s pain. Without another second delayed, he shot the zombie and breathed a sigh in relief when it felt to the ground motionless.

The victory was short-lived however, for Dan hissed upon touching the gash on his arm. Alarmed, Phil went to the first aid kit in his backpack.

“Sit on the couch,” he said. In no disposition to argue, Dan followed his order with a sigh.

“Well that’s a low moment I’ll never be able to live down,” Dan commented. “I didn’t even know where that Fucker came from.”

“He looked newly turned,” Phil pondered as he sat next to Dan and had his arm over his lap to easily clean.

“That’s what I was thinking. But if he was, how did we not notice?”

“Maybe we were both more tired than we thought. Sorry,” Phil said, before pressing alcohol to his wound. He flinched as Dan tried to hold in a scream. Phil quickly wrapped it up before the pain could last too long.

“Thank you,” Dan breathed out. “This is what happens when you get caught off guard.”

“To be fair, you didn’t do so bad. But Phil Lester saves the day yet again!”

Dan pushed Phil lightly on the shoulder; the older man laughed in response.

“Wait… if the zombie was recently turned,” Phil said suddenly. “You don’t suppose…”

They stared at each other for a second before moving to their dry clothes. Dan and Phil quickly changed, grabbed their bags, and went outside. The two men high-fived each other upon seeing exactly what they were hoping for: a car. Dan slid into the open driver’s seat and rejoiced at the bit of gas left. Dan was even more excited by the semi-automatic next to the dashboard.

“This is some goddamn deus ex machina I can get behind,” Dan whooped.

“But do you know how to drive?” Phil asked warily.

“No, do you?”

“No…”

“It’s either you or me, Phil.”

Phil shrugged and got into the passenger seat. “Shotgun it is. To London?”

“To London,” Dan stepped on the gas.

 

**_Somewhere, 74 miles from London_ **

“Are we there yet?” Phil whined.

“We’re not doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“ _Are we there yet?_ No. We’re not.”

Phil groaned, never liking any kind of travel by car.  He felt nauseous and Dan’s inexperienced, skittish driving was not helping at all. He shut his eyes and tried to fight the carsickness, but that was to no avail when Dan slammed on the breaks and Phil’s eyes flew open.

“What was that?” Phil hissed. He followed Dan’s line of sight ahead and gulped.

“You’re _joking_. Why do they always travel in packs?” Phil complained. They, being a group of Fuckers commiserating in the distance. It was like watching the most terrifying documentary of animal migration. Dan bit his lip in concentration and sat up straighter.

“What are you doing?”

“When you see a moose on the road, drive straight ahead.” Phil wasn’t given a further warning before Dan stepped on the gas and drove straight into the pack of zombies. Phil shut his eyes in fear and yelped at the sound of impact. He opened his eyes and let out a huge breath seeing that Dan was still driving and in just as much shock as he was that it worked. Phil looked at the rear view mirror and gulped.

“Dan…”

The mentioned saw zombies chasing them from the mirror and swore under his breath. Phil lowered the window at his side and picked up the semi-automatic rifle. He poked his head out the window and continued to shriek as the rifle fired at the zombies behind them.

“Phil Lester, you absolute genius. Keep doing that,” Dan said as he sped up the vehicle and the last of the Fuckers either fell behind or fell to the ground.

They eventually fall into laughter afterward at the ridiculousness of the situation.

 

**_London_ **

Dan nudged Phil lightly. They arrived outside of London Headquarters, the city isolated by an enormous wall. It was necessary to keep zombies away from the city survivors and it was for that reason there was only one way in and out. Phil woke up from his nap and sat up straighter.

“We in London?”

“Almost. You have to get up.”

Phil nodded and slowly made his way out the car. With his backpack over his shoulders, Phil used his other hand to rub his eyelids under his glasses.

“So what’s the plan, Danny?”

“Don’t call me that,” the aforementioned said. He led Phil to a something that looked like a glass telephone booth and picked up the phone. “Long live the Queen,” Dan said blankly.

“Long live the Queen? Really?” Phil chuckled. After a few seconds, a panel opened on the ground in front of the booth with stairs that led to an indeterminable end. “Wow.”

“Think of it as an underground tunnel.”

As they disappeared into the ground, the entrance closed above them. From there, they walked inside a long and rather dark tunnel that ended up at a staircase, leading to the outer London area. Phil couldn’t say he was surprised by what he saw.

London HQ wasn’t an anomaly. It was a standard city, albeit run down and looked even more densely populated than it did years before. The overpopulation was so palpable, they walked past many people who lived on the streets and Dan explained the most pitiful and disappointing aspect: the rations.

They weren’t bad, per se, but for a guy like Dan who traveled in his roguish ways for the better part of his apocalyptic life, it was all so boring and contrived to him. There was nothing that held Dan to London. No family, or friends other than the people he was hoping to find there again. He suddenly remembered how maybe the past three days with Phil were something of a fluke; it had to have been.

Over the next few days, Dan and Phil part in separate ways. Because Phil had to settle in adjust to life in the Headquarters, Dan ended up seeing very little of him. As expected, Dan also came upon the three people from The Quad: Hyde, Terra, and Evelyn.

“There he is,” Hyde said, giving Dan a light punch on the shoulder. “Gotta say it my man, you’ve taken longer to get here than usual.”

“I got sidetracked along the way.”

“What he isn’t saying is he got sidetracked by lover boy,” Evelyn teased.

“Lover boy?” Terra asked, looking at both Dan and Ev.

“Remember _The Amazing Phil_ ,” Ev drove her point across by doing jazz hands. “ _Bye Phil, I’ll see you around_ he said. _Bye Phil_ , as if his heart wasn’t breaking at the thought! I saw you two come in from the outside. Y’all ain’t so slick.”

“Forreal?” Hyde asked Dan. “That old boo of yours from Before?”

“He’s not my _boo_.”

“That’s not what it looked like,” Ev said in a sing-song voice.

Dan sighed and dismissed them all. They had no idea what they were talking about. He spent a few days there eating, showering, and doing all the things he’d neglected since being away from amenities for so long. It was easy to have no time to catch up with Phil during that time, but he wasn’t exactly trying to actively reach out to begin with.

He couldn’t help but feel wrong about staying in London, much like he’d always felt every time he stopped there. He was used to the trio drilling into his head that they were meant for more and could have more. They lived in excess. The adrenaline and the high stakes were all he knew. So, The Quad planned to leave and Dan buried the little thought of reluctance.

“It’s like you still underestimate me.”

Dan paused, not expecting to come across Phil on the way back to his group.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Phil took a deep breath. “Why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something?”

“No--”

“It’s not you, it’s me? We’ve all seen every cliche breakup scene, Dan.”

“Woah, who ever said anything about a breakup?” Dan said, more testy than ever before, and callous. That, Phil didn’t expect. “We weren’t even together! There’s _nothing_ to break up.”

Phil’s face fell and he gave an awkward laugh in response. “ _Right_. You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking…”

“Phil--”

“Oh no, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I was being a little… stupid about it, is all.”

“You’re not _stupid_ ,” Dan sighed.

“Maybe! Maybe not. I don’t know,” Phil stepped away. “You underestimate me a lot, Dan, but I think you underestimate yourself even more. You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

“Please don’t take it personally.”

“I won’t. Don’t take things personally, politeness is a death sentence, I know.” Phil gave him a hug so quick and out of nowhere that Dan wouldn’t have been able to protest. “But thank you. For getting me here.. and everything.”

Dan settled on a little smile and shrugged. “You’re welcome.”

-

A week passed and Dan was back go the normalcy of his group. The other three were ecstatic upon seeing the car Dan came upon Outside and they were on their way. Back to the normalcy of raids and zombie slaying and living without rules or plans. It was just as it should be, for the first few days at least.

Try as he might, Dan couldn’t ignore how much he missed Phil and couldn’t help but compare _Philisms_ to whatever they did. Even Terra had to pity him slightly and call him out on it.

“Are you okay?” She asked him while they were sat in the back seat, with Ev driving and Hyde riding shotgun. Dan had been spacing out, which wasn’t unusual since he returned to The Quad. “You’ve been slacking a little lately.”

“Yeah, I’m good. Why?” Dan asked nonchalantly.

“Nothing it’s just… never mind.”

But his heart wasn’t in it anymore. On the contrary, his heart was actually _in_ it for once and he felt more than just the stoic, emotionless character he’d been all these years.

The four of them made a fire around a pit and were sitting around when Dan actually decided to check his backpack. What he didn’t expect to find was Phil’s camcorder buried at the bottom. Did he forget to give it back to Phil?

Forgetting the three others watching him, Dan looked at the footage and couldn’t help but feel a lurch in his stomach.

“The Amazing Phil taped you while you were asleep. Brave guy,” Hyde commented. Dan tensed but paid no mind to it, as he couldn’t fight the most sentimental smile on his face upon seeing all this footage he didn’t know Phil had of him. Of Dan fighting those Fuckers at the station, of Dan looking at the lens in amusement, or of Dan walking around that abandoned and creepy house doing absolutely nothing.

“You should give it back to him,” Ev spoke up. “If not because you’re a lovesick idiot, then at least give him his crap back.”

Dan opened his mouth to argue, but the trio glared at him with a knowing look. If Dan wasn’t going to be on his A game, he didn’t need to be there. It wasn’t cruel; they knew Dan belonged elsewhere.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll… bring it back to him in the morning.”

“ _We’ll_ bring it back to him,” Terra clarified with a laugh. “I’m watching this shit go down. It’s gonna be great.”

Dan dragged his sleeping bag away and let everyone chat and laugh to each other. None of that was his concern as he held the video camera tightly in his left hand and watched the events unfold from weeks before. Phil surely knew what he was doing, with his camera angles and the way that used lighting to capture their moments. _The Academy will love it_ , Phil’s voice rang in mind. He fell asleep missing the feel of an earbud in his ear, playing songs from an old favourite rock band past, and feeling the loss of an all too familiar and light presence at his side.

-

Dan tried to quell his impatience the closer they got to Headquarters, but he wasn’t being as slick as he hoped.

“Well isn’t that adorable,” Ev sneered. “Impatient to see his dear lover after a separation of, what was it Hyde?”

“A week.”

“A week too long, when the heart wants what it wants!” Terra exclaimed, dramatically wiping away a tear. Dan elbowed her.

“Don’t be annoying,” Dan groaned.

“Am I still annoying now?” Ev asked as they parked outside Headquarters. “Run free my little duckling.”

Dan flipped them off.

“I’ll take that as a thank you. You’re welcome, Howell,” Ev exclaimed as Dan walked away to open the underground passage, camcorder in his hand. He couldn’t ignore the jeers from Hyde, Ev, and Terra when he started to walk faster, desperate to find Phil. He’d never be able to live this down.

His reactions entering the outer London area were an entirely different story. He was almost frantic in his search for Phil, with absolutely no chill whatsoever that the trio trailing after him raised a brow at his dramatics.

“Phil!” He exclaimed, nearly running into him in the street in his fervour.

“Dan, hi.” Phil looked completely surprised. “I thought you left.”

Dan shook his head frantically and held up the video camera. “I have your camcorder.”

Phil lowered the camera and pushed it back toward Dan with a smile.

“I know.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t -- what? What do you mean you know?”

“I gave it back to you on purpose. Like I said, you underestimated me. I had a feeling you would… go away so I decided to give it to you.”

“But why?”

“So you could have me with you wherever you go.”

Dan groaned through Phil’s giggling and he didn’t realise how much he missed that sound.

“That was _so_ sappy, Phil. I can’t believe you.”

“Did it work?” Phil asked, a little more sheepish as he stepped closer. Dan thought back to their moment in the rain.

“Might need some clarification,” Dan murmured. They’re so close that all it would take is a slight lean forward to calm the waves in Dan’s chest. Phil stops mid-way.

“Not gonna shoot a zombie right now, are you?”

Dan took the initiative, kissing him without another bout of hesitation. He sunk into the feeling, only then knowing how much he had been trying to suppress this want all along.

“Zombie? What did _we_ miss?” Hyde asked.

“Something tells me we’re never gonna know,” Terra answered when the two men pulled away and turned to them, arms crossed and mirroring in body language.

“Maybe, maybe not," Dan smirked, feigning nonchalance.

“All the maybes in the world and this _may be_ my favourite,” Phil chimed.

"Are we ever going to stop relying on maybes?"

"It worked last time, didn't it?" Phil took the camcorder out of Dan's hands, raised it up to their faces, and hit record. "The end of the world isn't so bad after all. Any last words?"

"Oh, thank god. You'll finally stop," Dan all but exclaimed. Everyone rolled their eyes at his melodrama.

"You wish." Phil's eyes crinkled. " _It's to be continued..._ " 


End file.
